Guild Investigations by Pastafarian

Dedicated to reveal mass scale corruption between guild leaders.

Hlias (or Kaptain) and his Fish Fiest - Case 2

I was always interested, where Hlias get money for his Fish Fiest (never saw him fishing) and in time I noticed something strange in his behaviour. He likes to go to Icecrown Citadel alone, when no one of guild members can see him. One day I decided to follow him... and this is results of my investigation:

Hlias entered Icecrown Citadel and teleported straight to Upper Spire (3 times I lost him in this stage... and now I know why. After teleporting, he immediately jumped down on the right side of the bridge. Strange? ...wait for more. I jumped after him... it seems, that down there is secret door with sign above it "Shambling Horror & CO. Insurance Company". Hlias went strait through this door.

I didn't go inside. I am not stupid... to be killed. But I looked in to key hole and made screenshot.

Shambling Horror says to Hlias:

"You will pay us 5 gold each time and we will just pretend to hit you. You will receive 5 Fish Fiests each time for free too. Nice to do business with you, Hlias... Kaptain! You are our best customer."

You can think, that it is some kind of a joke, but it is not. Last time, when we all fought against Linch King, I saved Combat Log (god!... no one looks at it these days):

So guys... we have corrupt leader. He gives 5 gold to Shambling Horror and in such way avoids damage - saves about 40-80 gold on gear repair after raid each time. Of course, the good side - he has contacts with mobs, but till now we all didn't have benefit from that.

Because of this post, I already had few calls from Shambling Horrors’ daughter enterprise “Drudge Gouls and Zombie Themis” lawyers, threatening to kill me.

Healing secret behind Forestchild revealed - Case 1

I wanted to know, why Forestchild heals so well, so it was me, who hacked in to her account ...and I saw everything. Look, what I found on her character (2 additional item slots and items, which are not available for any of us):



I took them, put on me and went to raids... results – I was top healer in all raid groups. Unfortunately, I was walking around Elwynn Forest near Stormwind yesterday. Sun shined, birds sang their songs, when suddenly Linch King jumped out of bushes and told me:

- Pastafarian, give me Forestchild’s panties, or I will kill you!!!

What could I do? We went to bushes. I undressed and gave him panties... and he raped me in there also… don’t want to remember.

Today I went in to Icecrown Citadel to see Linch King. Look, what I saw... that pervert has Forestchild’s panties on his head. So it will be even more difficult to defeat him now.



I am very sorry. At least, Forestchild’s healing secret is revealed for all of us. And I was raped …kinda punished for my actions. So I hope, you will not hold grudge against me. And I am not giving her Magic Bra back - it is mine now.